13 replies to this topic

[DEAN]

A fabulous DorkFest was held at the palatial bachelor pad of True Love Machine Brian Valz.  I attendence was Chris, Tim (A Fine Man To Watch Wrestling With) and myself- Dean Rasmussen.  It was boozefree except for this girly liqueur type thing Bryan wanted to try.  He liked it.  It was too girly for me and I was scared of an early onset of menopause if drank anymore.  Instead we all got drunk the sweet sweet spirit called THE PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!

I shall be skeletal so the other guys get a chance.

- Chris and Brain were watching Iceman King Parsons vs One Man Gang in a taped fist match on the 24/7s.  OMG was truly awesome and he did the delayed in the ropes bump to the floor to all's delight.

- Tim arrived and we watched some the GLORIOUSLY sleazy LDN from England.  It was sent by God's Finest Canadian, Doug Corti- and Brayn and Chris are COMPLETELY engrossed in the greatness that is the Fight Network's MMA/Wrestling ticker that runs across the bottom.  We all curse the stupid Hopenchange stupid United States because we can piss away 1.2 trillion dollars on Jack Murtha's assorted cabana boys but we can't get a fucking wrestling channel like the goddam Canadians.  We curse the sky.  We curse the earth.  We curse YOU.  The match was a really old school affair between Doug Williams and John Ritchie.  Ritchie matches many of my criterias to become a Sleazy Indie Godhead.  The main criteria matched here is that I NEVER want to see the porn on his hard drive.

- We then watched the FUCKING AWWWWESOME Villano 5 vs Blue Panther match.  The back-to-back topes might have been my favorite part.  Tim gets the Momentary Rube Of The Night Award when talking about the controversy surrounding the match.  He notes that folks were upset because they assumed Villano 4 replaced V5 after he went backstage to get a new mask (after fucking CRUSHING the back of his head to a fixed chair while being toped. ((Which was motherfucking awesome unto itself, with the little highlight circle in the replay to make sure you see where he motherfucking crushes his head.))  Tim says it can't be V4 because he's still bleeding from the back of the head in such in a weird place.  I look at Tim like Schnieder looked at when he broached the idea that the Simpson brothers in World Class might NOT be South African.  I said," Tim, it's fucking MEXICO.  You think anybody would have any conpunction about blading Villano 4's head to match his brother's?"  But yeah, that's about as good as wrestling gets.   It was good to see a BIG match from Mexico for once. It's been a while and that delivered about as much as the V3 vs Atlantis- if just for the amazing heat.

- I finally saw a Claudio match I liked as the Morishima/ Muhammed Yone vs Chris Hero/Claudio was a really fun- despite and BECAUSE the presence of Claudio.  Also because Chris Hero and Morishima opt to beat the fuck out of each other that inspires Yone to remember his BattlARTS roots and beat the shit out of Hero and Claudio.  It was manly.  I shan't give away the surprise ending.

- The Nakajima/Sasaki vs Akiyama/Taniguchi match that our boy Alan 4 Lyfe posted was fucking BALLS OUT.  None of recognized Taniguchi until this morning when I looked it up.  His fighting spirit burned like a thousand suns... and then Nakajima would kick the fuck out of him.  I LOVED the Otsuka Two Man German by Kensuke.  Akiyama sold quite a bit between Exploiders which is weird for someone about to a-belt-chasin' or maybe not.  Either way, it made for a fun match.

- We watched Hama and Nakajima vs Mutoh and Kaz Hayashi which was another step in the ongoing love affair with the fatness of Hama.  He's so mobile and he also uses his fat the totally crush 130 pound Kaz Hayashi.  that was about all I ask for in a fat man.  Plus he eats a Dragon Screw like a champ.

- We watched the Big Japan six man from 1/2/2009 that Tim remembered George Mayfield mentioning as the state the art in frenetic workrate.  I never watch these kind of matches so I was ALLOWED to dig it- though I have to collect about a year and hlaf of cool points to be allowed to watch this many highspots per minute ever again.  The one man double hurricanrana was a favorite, though everybody but Men's Teioh needed a heapin helpin of additional paunts.

- Somewhere in there we watched Giant Bernard and Yoshie in the ring together and fought the urge to remove my pants.

A big time was had by all.  I await my fellow CELEBRANTS~! and their comments.

NANIWA~!

DEAN.

[Alan4L]

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The main criteria matched here is that I NEVER want to see the porn on his hard drive.

That's one heck of a line right there.

[sixteen]

Alan4L, on Jan 31 2009, 02:21 PM, said:

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The main criteria matched here is that I NEVER want to see the porn on his hard drive.

That's one heck of a line right there.

DEAN's constantly outdoing himself.

[WrestlingPower]

Dean was in rare form as I think unemployment has him like a caged animal at home so when he gets out, he really enjoys himself. I hadn't been there long when during the Iceman match that had Kerry Von Erich and Gary Hart involved, Dean asked if Kerry was "bipedal" in this match.  We always laugh despite ourselves when finding new ways to joke about Kerry's feet.

That LDN was quite sleazy and makes ROH's production values look like WWE in comparison, if this was any darker you couldn't watch it.  I wasn't nearly as into this as Dean was.  Dean's criteria has changed apparently, last night he did NOT use the porn line from above, he said that his #1 criteria was not being willing to use him as a babysitter.  I think he rattled off another few criteria as well.  Jokes about British teeth were made.  We were fascinated by the ticker showing the payoffs for various UFC & WEC guys and were joking about what the guys in this match were getting paid.

The Noah looked GREAT for a download and was amazingly current.  I hadn't seen much Noah in a while but it looks like they are trying for a bizarre wild resurgence in 09.  Hero's unabomber beard was choice.  Taniguchi reminded us of Omori.

It was great seeing Buddy Kong again.  I explained how he finished well in the Observer ROY even though it was premature.  We marvel at how mobile he is but speculate on how long his career/life might last.
I wasn't that impressed with the BJ flippy match other than the speed at which they moved.  That one guy that rana'ed 2 guys at once we joked could easily get a job with Dragon Gate if he put on his resume that he could fit 2 guys' heads between his legs.

All in all, we need to have these 3.5 hr Dorkfests more often.  We never even touched the stuff I brought including a batch of PWG.  I lef the Dorkfest not even worried about following ROH in 09 since puro has got my attention again.

[Alan4L]

Dean, by the way, the world needs more Living Driverettes man!

[Doug Corti]

The mind-blowing thing is that LDN isn't even close to the sleaziest stuff on the Fight Network. I really should include grade-A bilge like So You Wanna Fight and The Real Catfight in the next gift pack. Both manage to make me ashamed for my species as a whole, albeit each for different reasons.

[DEAN]

Doug Corti, on Jan 31 2009, 06:37 PM, said:

The mind-blowing thing is that LDN isn't even close to the sleaziest stuff on the Fight Network. I really should include grade-A bilge like So You Wanna Fight and The Real Catfight in the next gift pack. Both manage to make me ashamed for my species as a whole, albeit each for different reasons.

I can't believe you would hold out on me, Doug.  Though there is no POSSIBLE way it could be that much sleazier than LND.  LND has the possibility of reaching NCW Carolina levels of awesome sleazidom.   I think the fact that they still utilize the PUBLIC WARNING~! and the rounds system is what keeps it above the average indie sleazedom fray.  It is truly a million billion stars.

And Tim noting that Taniguchi reminded him of Omori- I would have to say that Omori NEVER made me give a shit about a match like Taniguchi did in that match.  Haristyle- yes; Ability- I SAY THEE NAY.

[Doug Corti]

SYWF is basically Toughman stuff, with even less polish. It is taped on Indian reservations out west, to get around the laws. It features people introduced with their profession as 'street fighter'. Take away all the macho tats, and many of the guys look like your average 80s weekend show enhancement talent.

The Real Catfight is, to quote on the on-screen programming listings, and I quote, complete with brutal grammar "Japanese ladies fight each other while try to keep their clothes on." No ring, just some mats on the ground. The one time I watched it for any length of time there was somebody in some sort of animal costume acting as referee. It is a step up from the Lithuanian honey wrestling they used to show. More likely to cause marital strife in your house than that Riot tape I sent you.

[SULLY]

Doug Corti, on Jan 31 2009, 06:37 PM, said:

The mind-blowing thing is that LDN isn't even close to the sleaziest stuff on the Fight Network. I really should include grade-A bilge like So You Wanna Fight and The Real Catfight in the next gift pack. Both manage to make me ashamed for my species as a whole, albeit each for different reasons.

I still think the winner is the "Hot Honey Wrestling Action"

[Hayhay17]

Alan, I'd settle for more driverettes full stop, let alone living ones.

[tomk]

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he said that his #1 criteria was not being willing to use him as a babysitter.

I can't imagine their being anyone in wrestling you'd ever let babysit your kids?

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LND has the possibility of reaching NCW Carolina levels of awesome sleazidom.

Was NCW the awesome Kurt Solo fed? I think I only got two tapes of that. Do you have additional stuff?

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Lithuanian honey wrestling

Lithuanian?

[DEAN]

tomk, on Jan 31 2009, 09:24 PM, said:

Quote

he said that his #1 criteria was not being willing to use him as a babysitter.

I can't imagine their being anyone in wrestling you'd ever let babysit your kids?

Quote

LND has the possibility of reaching NCW Carolina levels of awesome sleazidom.

Was NCW the awesome Kurt Solo fed? I think I only got two tapes of that. Do you have additional stuff?

Quote

Lithuanian honey wrestling

Lithuanian?

NCW was the show with the OMEGA guys from the bar at Western Carolina with the greatest announcers in the history of wrestling.  GUTTER PAHP!

[valzba]

A successful dorkfest indeed!  Next time I will have the beer that those Japanese sumo wrestlers drink instead of the Italian liquer that almost made Dean bleed on my sofa.  We watched wrestling from four different countries and always are diverse in our dorkfests!  I really enjoyed watching Chris Hero tonight with Claudio in the tag match against Yone and Morishima for about the first time in two years.  Maybe he should work in Japan on a regular basis.  Also, God it must suck to wrestle Nakajima/Sasaki.

[Corné]

tomk, on Feb 1 2009, 03:24 AM, said:

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he said that his #1 criteria was not being willing to use him as a babysitter.

I can't imagine their being anyone in wrestling you'd ever let babysit your kids?

Salvatore Bellomo always tells the story about him being on an european tour with his wife and kids with him and Owen Hart always watched the kids when everybody else went out and party.