BEHOLD! Your ROH on HDNEt WORKRATE REPORT for May 30, 2009!, Day late! Options

[DEAN]

Sorry I'm late! I've been busy busy busy! HOOK-EM UP!

WHAT WORKED-

- If you watch endless off-season college football reruns- and who DOESn'T- you'll note that our boy Hogewood is all over the College Flash Classics on SouthSport HD. I don't know if that makes me happy or sad. During the Titus/Strong match, Hoge is awesome contending that Prazak is a pole-smoker because Prazak keeps talking about Titus' luscious thighs. I couldn't figure out Hoge's joke about the Uranage Backbreaker joke- but that is the greatness of Hoge, he doesn't dumb it down to you eventhough it was 2 OBSCURE 2 B B-LIEVED!

- AWESOME! Sami Callahan versus Erick Stevens! I love Erick Stevens but lawdy lawdy he sucks it on THE STICK~! Sami is incomprehensible on THE STICK~! which is a step up. Hoge and Prazak mix metaphors. Stevens hits the perfectly dicklike elbow drop early and I love him. Sami licks Stevens face like some kinda weirdo and Hoge gets freaked out! Hoge is by far my favorite announcer. Stevens a fucking REAL BEAUTIFUL lariat and Thundah Fiyah POWERBOMB HOLDOH! Should have gone longer.

- Nigel McGuinness is waaay better being interviewed than trying to orate extemporaneously. I dug how he put over the participants in next weeks 4 way- especially Jerry Lynn.

- Main event was neato. Steen is good in a brawl. I await a shopping cart spot if there is any sense of history of the table match. Steen is a great version of Johnny Grunge. Generico is nowhere near the same hemisphere that was the awesomeness of Rocco Roc- so it all kinda equals out. American Wolves are perfectly fine Eliminators and the World's Best Pitbulls. This was actually far far less of total clusterfuck than your normal ECW table match so I guess there is a way to these now that doesn't resemble a battle royal. They do the Big Japan 99 thing of teasing and fighting around the corner table spot- if you replace the table with a barbed wire board. Flair Shinbreaker on the table was BOSSS. Davey Richards taunting Steen was really fucking great. ElGen nearly breaking Edwards neck was nasty. Nearfall section was waaaaaay too great. Steen/Generico are delivering the goods on this show every week so far and they need to keep this feud going. DOUBLE TABLES~! The tease to the spot is fucking GREAT and using only 1/9th the run-ins ECW would use. Finish was fucking beautiful and clean as a sheet. Fucking great. They need to show a rematch every two weeks for six months.

WHAT DIDN'T WORK-

- Roderick Strong is HORRENDOUS on THE STICK~! He sounds like a guy working at an independent bookstore trying to talk me into a new Noam Chomsky book. Or maybe a waiter at a macrobiotic restaurant trying to talk us all into extra Tahini on the side of our falafel platter. Titus is quite the Nouvelle Johnny Swinger in the ring- which is great gimmick-wise, I guess. Why he beats the shit out of Strong for 3/4 of the match is a little baffling. Titus as Vader and Roderick Strong as Ricky Santana woulda been kinda fascinating if wasn't so sloppily executed. Finish was KAY-rappy!

- The fact that the Shimmer match was a 3 way keeps it from working- but I had real beef with it. It looks like All Good Shimmer Matches On ROH On HDNet go through Mschif. Haize bumped big to the floor and Del Ray was quite the world's least imposing Yumiko Hotta- and hey, trying to do a Hotta gimmick is a good move if she can eventually pull it off. But you'd need to REALLY beat the shit out of somebody at some point. Postmatch screeching was fabulous.

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.

[Alan4L]

Yeah that tables match ruled!

Out of curiousity, what was wrong with the Roderick finish in your opinion? I thought that was cool.

[DailyKos]

Sorry I'm late! I've been busy busy busy! HOOK-EM UP!

WHAT WORKED-

- If you watch endless off-season college football reruns- and who DOESn'T- you'll note that our boy Hogewood is all over the College Flash Classics on SouthSport HD. I don't know if that makes me happy or sad. During the Titus/Strong match, Hoge is awesome contending that Prazak is a pole-smoker because Prazak keeps talking about Titus' luscious thighs. I couldn't figure out Hoge's joke about the Uranage Backbreaker joke- but that is the greatness of Hoge, he doesn't dumb it down to you eventhough it was 2 OBSCURE 2 B B-LIEVED!


DEAN RASMUSSEN.

I really suggest everyone download the clip if someone makes one of this exchange between Hoge and Prazak. It was so bizarre. How long is Rodrick Strong going to stay in ROH? He's only moderately good in the ring but even after 9 years he has no personality. Which to me is funny because he shows up in photos of the wrestlers just hanging out around town or in their homes a lot. Fratboy.

I've given up on Sami Callahan. Fast forwarding through all his crap from now on unless it involves a Briscoe.

[DEAN]

Yeah that tables match ruled!

Out of curiousity, what was wrong with the Roderick finish in your opinion? I thought that was cool.

The final kick was fine but the four steps up leading up to it were crappy- not that it was Strong's fault.

[Rev]

I really suggest everyone download the clip if someone makes one of this exchange between Hoge and Prazak. It was so bizarre. How long is Rodrick Strong going to stay in ROH? He's only moderately good in the ring but even after 9 years he has no personality. Which to me is funny because he shows up in photos of the wrestlers just hanging out around town or in their homes a lot. Fratboy.

Strong, Colt Cabana, and Evan Bourne live together in Florida.

[ProWrestlingLove]

I'd like to know why they are giving tv time to shitty shimmer wrestlers and deciding to not have the mainevent promos for the first time when they have their most important mainevent to date with guys who can cut promos. The show was worthless up until the main and it wasn't great or anything but it was fun.

[Emerald Frosion]

I couldn't figure out Hoge's joke about the Uranage Backbreaker joke- but that is the greatness of Hoge, he doesn't dumb it down to you eventhough it was 2 OBSCURE 2 B B-LIEVED!

I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic, but when Gayzac was like "Uranage!" he took it as he said YOUR A NAGE and that's when he intervened with "No I'm a Hoge" Shades of Blue Colar Comedy, Hoge should go on tour with them.