BEHOLD! Your ROH on HDNEt WORKRATE REPORT for May 9, 2009! Options

[DEAN]

Sorry, I'm late. I was watching Kurosawa's DRUNKEN ANGEL and it was awesome.

WHAT WORKED-

- YOUR CLEARINGHOUSE OF WHO ROCKS ON THE STICK~!: COLT CABANA! AWWWESOME! Hey, Prince Nana! Maybe there is hope for the ROH micwork! They kinda walk over it though. God, I would actually want to see Colt Cabana versus Bison Smith on TV.

- I assume this will be the Danielson vs Black match I've seen twice so far- once live and then two or three weeks ago on the ROH tvs- except someone wins this one. It's cool to do a best of 7 type dealy to get over two guys who work together well so really got no beef with this at all. Hell, I would rewatch all of the Juventud-Kidman matches that got Kidman over as a cruiserweight right now in their entirety if you presented in front of me. So yeah. Of course, they should probably try to get Jerry Lynn in a match where he looks like an actual champion at some point. Ah, I'm glad they are actually showing Lynn watching on so that this might actually get linked to setting up an actual title match. Danielson going all Jim Breaks on the arm of Black is a new twist and I am in love with it. The rest of the match is pretty much a reworking of their basic match except for the crazy shit to the floor- which was fucking INSANE and did a credible job of making the DCO look unshitty. I dunno about this show. I think about great wrestling shows that I have loved and it doesn't have the sleazy excitement of ECW. It doesn't have the endless talent fount that WCW Saturday Night/Worldwide/Pro had in the late 90s. It doesn't have 80s NWA Worldwide Ric Flair that 80s NWA Worldwide had. Eh, the first seasons of Seinfeld and the Simpsons sucked ass before they hit their stride. Hell, go watch the first season of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (which I have done recently as member of the unemployed) and you go, "WOW. These aren't very good" to most of them. So I'll keep watching and hoping they figure something out.

WHAT DIDN'T WORK-

- YOUR CLEARINGHOUSE OF WHO SUCKS ON THE STICK~!: Nigel on the stick isn't so good. Here was perfectly fine in a Tommy Dreamer Meanders About Stuff For Five Minutes. But it seemed to go twenty minutes in my mind. So it was more like a Taz Babbles About Nothing Forever endless filibusterin'. "Innit to winnit"? Why not "Ain't nuthin' to it but to do it!" Tyler Black is far more horrendous though. God, someone bring Gary Hart back from the Great Hereafter and let him talk for Black. He is 100% Al Perez-esque.

Daizeee Haaaze was the best on the STICK~! on the evening? Sure, since you couldn't actually hear Cabana or Nana.

Claidio is HORRENDOUS on the mic. God, what a 1995 midcard WWF gimmick. If this Salvator Sincere remake means we are in for a re-realization of the wonder of MANTAUR, then I back their play 100 percent. Speaking of 1995 WWF midcard, Allbright is actually more Duke The Dumpster Droese than Steve Blackman. I said it.

- Mixed tag match? Hoge says that Mischeif and Daizee have "Athleeticism" like it is some kind of codeword. My guess, "fabulous buttockeses". Delirious has really shitty punches and this kinda keeps going. Hoge being pissed about Mischief BREAKING THE RULES! and beating on Delirious kinda adds to the bafflement of this match. And it's over and that was quite the time killer that wouldn't make me want to see any of these guys again if I were a first time viewer. Having watched all of these, Mischief looked better than any other lady to appear on this show so it does get points for that. And if you have been watching all of these, you gotta wonder what the internet furor over the greatness of Jimmy Jacobs was- because he is being presented as ROH's version of Eddie Jackie.

- Squash of Leslie Butterscotch! Steen and Generico versus these American Wolves would be perfectly fine. This match was a squash and I'm mentally picturing the towel being thrown in by CRZ over at http://the-w.com as the bell was rung on this one. (Yes, I've opted to SEAMLESSLY insert plugs for CRZ in the middle of these things now!)

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.

[Brandon Bones]

Claidio is HORRENDOUS on the mic. God, what a 1995 midcard WWF gimmick.

This is it right here. What I haven't quite been able to put my finger on about Claudio. Begone from me Claudio Yankem!

[ProWrestlingLove]

I had no problem with the Claudio promo and the Nigel one would have been really good if he didn't ramble on forever he just needs someone to go over his promo with and take out the clutter. They really need better crowds for these shows the crowd just sucked the life out of the Danielson/Black match no idea why they are filming in philly do some tapings in chicago and new york. The mixed tag was worthless the squash was fine. Kind of tired of seeing Danielson/Black now also because of how limited Black is Danielson had to create a formula to work with him and it isn't like the early Nigel/Danielson formula before Nigel was really good in the ring either it is considerably less intense. Really that turnbuckle breaking and nearly scooping Danielson's brains out made their first match way better than Black generally allows his matches to be.

[Victator Deluxe]

Dean I know you were not hatin on Tazzzz's promoifying.

[walkingdeadrise]

Man, that lifeless crowd sucked all the energy out of the building, but to be fair the matches and wrestlers sure werent giving them a hell of a lot to cheer for as they seemed pretty lifeless themselves.

ROH has always lacked promo talent but man its never been more evident with half decent audio production. Tyler is a black hole of charisma(and fairly average in ring, why the hype?), and Nigel's slow ramble, and bad jokes(shagging a pornstar, oh man) and impeccable comedic timing leave a lot to be desired.

Little heavy handed on the Squashes lately(butterscotch lesbie was a bit much).

Im not excactly sure what theyre doing by not cramming the show with as much goodness as they can, I mean if I had never seen ROH before I sure as hell wouldnt be buying any dvd's or ppv's after watching that, I probably wouldnt even tune in next week.

[shawmic]

Tyler is a black hole of charisma(and fairly average in ring, why the hype?)

1. He does a Phoenix Splash
2. New ROH = lowered expectations

[Cory Paul]

I really don't think with what's going on in ROH these days that they could get over in front of a crowd full of kids and old people, and I think this is the problem, not the crowds. There really isn't that sense of high drama where legitimate villains are battling legitimate heroes. And even when the face/heel dynamic is working, it's all very bland.

I suppose you could blame this on the idea of trying to pander to their internet smark base with more of an old school vibe when few of their guys have the ability to get themselves over in any sort of big, genuine way; it's not working right now.

I have loved ROH at different points but right now nothing is popping. Blaming the crowd for flat shows seems counterintuitive for professional wrestling.

[ProWrestlingLove]

How is RoH pandering to smarks (which the current RoH product doesn't) to blame for the wrestlers sucking at getting heat and the booking being terrible? RoH in 2006 was pandering to smarks and you can't tell me that wouldn't have gotten over fine with kids and no one gives a fuck whether old people like their wrestling show except for TNA who sees them as their key demographic because they are a company of retards. Their base doesn't want an "old school vibe" they want good storylines and great matches and it is showing in their gates.

[USAUSA1]

LOL at you guys expecting more from ROH. At the height of of ROH, they still would put the same product on television. WWE had to re-program CM Punk and Matt Sydal into working the WWE or else they would end up like Samoa Joe in TNA. ROH is not made for television, it's an indy company that main focus should be selling dvds. Plain and simple.

[goc]

I'm not sure what exactly your point is. If RoH's main focus should be selling DVDs, then they should at least put on one really good match per show and let people know if they want to see more action like that then they should buy the DVDs. From the way everyone is describing the show it seems like it's done more to make people less interested in RoH instead of more.

[Childs]

The crowd was tepid, but I can't blame them. Anyone who has followed the promotion for awhile has to wonder why Danielson and Black are having worse matches than they were last year and why Black, the supposed future, hasn't improved at all. I thought he was absolute crap in that match. His offense has always been lousy, which makes him look especially bad compared to Dragon. But last year, he at least impressed me with his selling and his ability to get across some point of view. I honestly couldn't figure out what he was supposed to be in this week's match other than a guy who shook off a bunch of brutal offense because that's what the booker ordered.

I still like watching Danielson on TV, but he really could've had the same match against any second-rate indy guy.

[USAUSA1]

I'm not sure what exactly your point is. If RoH's main focus should be selling DVDs, then they should at least put on one really good match per show and let people know if they want to see more action like that then they should buy the DVDs. From the way everyone is describing the show it seems like it's done more to make people less interested in RoH instead of more.

My point is that they don't need television because you getting two separate products. What the point of buying dvds if you know you will get a great match every week on television. That sounds like something Vince Russo would do. The dvds are their television

[goc]

I'm not sure what exactly your point is. If RoH's main focus should be selling DVDs, then they should at least put on one really good match per show and let people know if they want to see more action like that then they should buy the DVDs. From the way everyone is describing the show it seems like it's done more to make people less interested in RoH instead of more.

My point is that they don't need television because you getting two separate products. What the point of buying dvds if you know you will get a great match every week on television. That sounds like something Vince Russo would do. The dvds are their television

I'm not sure how exactly that sounds like something Vince Russo would do considering he doesn't seem to give a damn what happens in the ring anyway. But the whole point is, you could have a really good 10-15 minute match every week and rotate who is in that showcase match and who is in the squash matches, so let's say Danielson has two squash matches and then a showcase match and someone goes "man I really like this guy, I want to see more" they might be enticed to buy a DVD. As it is now, if someone has never bought a DVD or a PPV because they don't want to spend money on RoH when they won't know what they're getting, and tune in to the show, there is no way they are going to want to spend money on it. Whether or not they need TV isn't the point, they have it and they should use it to try and boost sales.

[substancej]

Boy, yeah. I watched Women of the Prehistoric Planet the other night. Not good in the least.

[Mando>Eddie]

The opener was pretty perfunctory, the heat was on Jacobs and Delirious, but their sections were short-lived and relatively uneventful. Haze, who usually looks bad, was the best thing going here, there was some nice armwork and reversals, plus she's not afraid to break out an old-fashioned heart punch which makes me heart sing. MsChif looked like a kid bored in study hall during one rope sequence, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt as I know she's better than that.

The Wolves match was just a devastating squash, easily one of the more nasty squashes I've seen in arguably a couple years. I dig the new trunks, too; remind me of old school British Bulldogs gear. Orange Cassidy was the recipient of most of the damage, you felt for the chump, as in high-definition you could see his chest was completely chopped and kick into hamburger meat. A good squash and Mike Hogwood's disbelief on commentary was amusing.

The main event was really good, I liked its build a touch better than their time-limit draw two weeks ago, but, the finish docked it some points. Danielson was in control for the bulk of it, really working methodical submission-based stuff, especially on Tyler's leg. Tyler's comeback was well done, too; you could see his confidence building in his body language which is important. Black powerbombed Bryan into the turnbuckles for a whiplashing good time. The finish saw Black on the top turnbuckle, but Danielson knocked him off and Tyler soared all the way over the guardrail into the crowd. Then, Bryan climbed up and did a wild crossbody all the way out onto Black in the crowd. They battled, trying to beat the count, which was cool as Danielson's facial stuff here was great, as was Black unceremoniously jerking Bryan back violently into the guardrail. But, the referee got to 20 rendering this a double-countout and a less than satisfying finish to what was shaping up to be another awesome entry in these guys' excellent series.

[Rob Naylor]

Show was EH.

All I have to say was that fucking squash was AWWWWWWWWWWWWESOME. Wolves looked like complete killers and kicked all kinds of ass and Leslie Butterscotch is probably my current second or third favorite wrestler in ROH. That dude is so valuable to their tv show, in that he's becoming a "cult favorite" job guy after only two appearances and just takes the damnest beating in a loong time. He's honestly en route to being their Lee Scott at this stage. And that's a good thing. His "save" of poor Cassidy after minutes of complete murder and the reaction it got as he went "oh shit, I prob shouldn't have done that" and ran back to his corner was priceless. Seriously, dude gets so much heat just on facial expressions alone. And yeah, dude being PUNTED out of the sky and then german thurstkicked into oblivion rocked too. First time since the tag tables match coming up in a few week that I really took the Wuffs seriously. I'd have zero problem saying Davey Richards is the best wrestler in ROH right now. Dude is fucking awesome in the ring these days. I'm still iffy on Edwards, but he's fine in a tag capacity.

[onlxn]

Yeah, Davey looked good. Stiff offense in general plays well on this show... it strikes you as different from any other wrestling you currently see on TV, and the silence of the crowd really makes loud strikes pop.

Really interesting to see who clicks as a TV wrestler and who doesn't. I think Aries, Nigel, Jay Briscoe, Callahan and Davey have all been extremely effective. But I think Jimmy, Hero, Necro, Black and Erick Stevens have all come off pretty poorly, and I'm a huge fan of the first three and have no beef with the other two. Here's hoping they figure out how to adjust their work to a TV atmosphere. To come across well on this show, you need to bring some stiff, dynamic offense, and some energetic, borderline exaggerated character work... playing to the cheap seats and all that. It'll be interesting to see if guys like Jimmy and Hero figure that out or not.

[007Driver]

Really interesting to see who clicks as a TV wrestler and who doesn't. I think Aries, Nigel, Jay Briscoe, Callahan and Davey have all been extremely effective. But I think Jimmy, Hero, Necro, Black and Erick Stevens have all come off pretty poorly, and I'm a huge fan of the first three and have no beef with the other two. Here's hoping they figure out how to adjust their work to a TV atmosphere. To come across well on this show, you need to bring some stiff, dynamic offense, and some energetic, borderline exaggerated character work... playing to the cheap seats and all that. It'll be interesting to see if guys like Jimmy and Hero figure that out or not.

I agree with you on who comes off poorly, but I'm iffy on Callihan's worth since I agree with Naylor that he severely hurt the impact of Kingston's debut. Nigel I'm not so sure about either, even though I think that was the fault of his opponents and I have full confidence he'll be a fantastic TV wrestler when he's healed. Kenny King and Rhett Titus I don't think have been given enough credit, especially King who seems to have the most natural charisma of anyone who's appeared so far. Steen's also come off great in terms of having the best idea of how to present himself and effectively use his offense.

The ROH TV show still has a lot of problems (the "toned-down" offense is completely killing the company's appeal) but they don't get enough credit for how they've laid it out so far. It's tough catching "new fans" up to speed on their huge roster, but they properly introduced everyone fairly competently with the Smack Talk and 1-2-3 segments. Now that everyone's role has been more or less defined, they're introducing actual live angles now and giving guys more promo time and for the most part I think it's coming off solidly.

They should seriously never use the SHIMMER talent ever again though. None of them are over and they can't seem to work a TV match to save their lives.

[ProWrestlingLove]

Nigel is the only guy who gets heel heat when I watch the show with casual wrestling fans him having one rambling promo doesn't impact that he is a great heel in the ring.

[odessasteps]

Show was EH.

All I have to say was that fucking squash was AWWWWWWWWWWWWESOME. Wolves looked like complete killers and kicked all kinds of ass and Leslie Butterscotch is probably my current second or third favorite wrestler in ROH. That dude is so valuable to their tv show, in that he's becoming a "cult favorite" job guy after only two appearances and just takes the damnest beating in a loong time. He's honestly en route to being their Lee Scott at this stage. And that's a good thing. His "save" of poor Cassidy after minutes of complete murder and the reaction it got as he went "oh shit, I prob shouldn't have done that" and ran back to his corner was priceless. Seriously, dude gets so much heat just on facial expressions alone. And yeah, dude being PUNTED out of the sky and then german thurstkicked into oblivion rocked too. First time since the tag tables match coming up in a few week that I really took the Wuffs seriously. I'd have zero problem saying Davey Richards is the best wrestler in ROH right now. Dude is fucking awesome in the ring these days. I'm still iffy on Edwards, but he's fine in a tag capacity.

It's funny that Leslie Butterscotch has such great facials, given he usually spends most of his time (as far as I know) under a hood.